


Anger

by flootzavut



Series: Five Stages [2]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Angst, Five Stages of Grief, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Rage eats a chicken, Sex, Unresolved Emotional Tension, dark!trapper, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 08:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18091082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: It's just a seedy little hotel in a backstreet of Seoul, but right now it looks like a palace.





	Anger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pr0serpina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pr0serpina/gifts), [alleyesonthehindenburg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alleyesonthehindenburg/gifts), [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts).



> For all the usual reasons 😽😽😽
> 
> Special shoutout to Pina for Extreme Cheerleading™ 😹♥️
> 
> I didn't mean to write a followup to Denial, but here we are, go figure! ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Same 'verse, same premise, same emotional tension.

* * *

_**Anger** _

* * *

__

It's just a seedy little hotel in a backstreet of Seoul, but right now it looks like a palace.

After the week they've had, back to back OR sessions punctuated by powdered orange juice and naps never long enough to refresh, any bed that doesn't come with the prospect of incoming wounded would be luxurious. Beds with actual mattresses and sheets and fewer tiny livestock looking for a meal? BJ might not kill for them, but he would be severely tempted to maim.

Of course, back a hundred years ago when they first got their weekend passes, it was just gonna be the two of them, him and Hawk blotting out the world in drink and each other. He wasn't expecting the tentative détente with Trapper, he certainly wasn't expecting what came with it, and who could ever have known the fighting would shift far enough away that all three of them can be spared for a couple days?

It isn't until they get to the room that the true degree of potential awkwardness comes to light. Seoul's full of exhausted servicemen; they're lucky to have a room to themselves, let alone two whole beds, but there are undeniably three of them, and the math is shaky no matter what angle BJ comes at it.

Trapper looks just as nonplussed as BJ feels. Hawk, by contrast, wastes no time pushing the beds together and hurling himself across the join, legs akimbo, jacket discarded, grin wide and expression inviting. "You joining me anytime soon, fellas?"

Neither of them moves. Hawk rolls his eyes and starts to unbutton his shirt.

Oh, _God_ , this is gonna be complicated.

BJ stows his bag, perches on one edge of the combined bed, and takes hold of Hawk's hand. Unperturbed, Hawk continues to disrobe one-handed, and laughs when BJ rolls his eyes.

"Menace."

Hawk grins. "You say that almost like it's a surprise."

BJ is pointedly not looking at Trapper, but can't squash the painful awareness. He keeps his eyes on Hawk even as Trapper sits down and (damnit) starts helping Hawk get naked. BJ still doesn't approve of how Trapper treats Hawk sometimes, it still turns him on more than he's happy with to see or hear them together, and he can't even think about Trapper coming in his mouth without a million confusing and conflicting emotions pummelling him. Yet here he is with Hawk's hand in his, his heart beating a panicked and aroused tattoo at the thought of all three of them sleeping (or not sleeping) in one makeshift bed.

Hawk's locked in on him, not looking away or letting BJ look away even when he squirms as if Trapper has a hand down his pants. "C'mon, Beej," he murmurs.

BJ shakes his head. It's not no; it's more like resignation.

Hawk tugs on his hand, and BJ isn't equal to this at all. Hawk pulls till BJ's lying awkwardly beside him, then leans in for a warm, soft kiss BJ doesn't know how to refuse. Hawk's moans could be for the kiss or for Trapper continuing his unexpected streak of kindness; with Hawk's mouth on his it's hard for BJ to care, and when nimble fingers find his fly, he doesn't have it in him to protest.

Eventually they surface. Hawk smiles at him like he's all Hawk wants in the world, and BJ hates that he has to share that look with anyone. He glances down and can't hide his surprise when he sees Hawk balls deep in John 'I'm not fucking bent' McIntyre's mouth.

Hawk laughs, not his wild cackle but a low chuckle of amusement and enjoyment. He raises his eyebrows and peers pointedly at BJ's crotch, and it's only then that BJ realises the hand in his pants is also Trapper's.

 _Well, fuck_.

Hawk pulls him into another kiss, and suddenly there are two hands in his skivvies. Now he's thinking about it, BJ can tell the difference. Trapper's hand is bigger and rougher and he doesn't know BJ's cock all that well; Hawk's fingers are long and clever and know exactly where and how to touch to get BJ going. Hawk tugs and coaxes, as if he's teaching Trapper what BJ likes, and the surprising thing is that Trapper's actually following Hawk's lead, and they're stroking BJ in harmony.

"Don't come yet," Hawk whispers against BJ's lips. "I have plans for you."

His tone almost makes BJ come there and then, but God knows Hawk's had to hold back enough times, so BJ grits his teeth and forces himself to hang on. Then both of the hands fall still.

Hawk pulls back from the kiss with a grunt, arching in ecstasy, and miracle of miracles, he's coming in Trapper's mouth, and Trapper's swallowing him down like a champ. It's so surprising to watch McIntyre take it, and BJ doesn't know whether to be pleased or jealous or just very fucking turned on.

Once Hawk's done, Trapper pulls off and looks away, cheeks flaming red. Part of BJ wants to take him to task - doesn't he know Hawk likes to be licked and touched until he begs for it to stop? - but he can be magnanimous when he's never seen Trapper willingly do that before.

It's hard to keep a grip on his misgivings with Hawk here looking all debauched (and his own cock aching), so when Hawk starts in on his clothing, he doesn't protest, just returns the favour. They find each other's skin in no time at all, and it's second nature to push Hawk down into the bedsheets and kiss him stupid.

He all but forgets Trapper's even there until a somewhat familiar hand strokes down his spine with very unfamiliar tenderness. He pulls away from Hawk and looks over.

Trapper's still dressed and his face is still red, but there's a sort of hunger in his eyes; BJ's seen it before, just never so naked. "You, uh," Trapper tries. "You look-" He cringes and shakes his head.

BJ turns back to Hawk, and they have a brief, wordless conversation in one glance, then they're untangling themselves and moving to sit either side of Trapper, who somehow manages to look both terrified and thrilled.

"Hawkeye?"

Hawk puts a finger on Trapper's lips and smiles, then starts in on his shirt. BJ peels Trapper carefully out of his jacket, then reaches around gingerly to undo his belt. He half expects Trapper to think better of this, to elbow him in the solar plexus (or worse), but Trapper lets out a whimper BJ didn't know he was even capable of.

"It's okay, John," Hawk says. His voice is gentle and affectionate, and BJ hates, _hates_ that Trapper got here first, hates having to share, but he can't not do this for Hawk when Hawk cares so much.

(Then Trapper whines again, and BJ hates even more that the fucker is so damn attractive, at least to BJ's libido.)

It has the air of a dream, or an out of body experience. BJ can't believe he's undressing Trapper John of all people, even with Hawk's help, touching Trapper's broad shoulders and strong back, his ridiculous curly hair. Hawk slips off the bed and to his knees to help Trapper out of his pants and take a long, savouring suck at his cock, complete with enthusiastic noises.

"Jesus, Hawk," Trapper manages, brokenly.

BJ wants - _needs_ \- to see this properly. Hawkeye giving head is a work of art. He doesn't think about it, he just takes a hold of Trapper's upper arms and kneels up to watch over Trapper's shoulder, and it doesn't occur to him till too late that that's a lot of naked skin contact. It's too much, far too intimate with this man he doesn't even _like_ , damnit, but no way in hell is he going to admit he's uncomfortable, so he stays where he is and tries to concentrate on Hawk, who's looking up through his eyelashes at them and (it's subtle, but BJ knows Hawk's face almost as well as he knows his own) is highly amused at having enticed his boyfriends into naked proximity with each other.

Trapper makes a desperate noise, and his mouth is so close to BJ's ear, BJ feels it as much as hears it. It's instinctual to grind his aching cock to whatever presents itself, and he realises too late he's basically rutting against Trapper's back.

"Fuck, BJ," Trapper grunts, and it's the first time he's ever acknowledged BJ like that when they're naked. Usually he pretends BJ isn't there or is someone else, even if it's BJ who's getting him off.

BJ forces himself to go still. He doesn't understand his feelings about Trapper nearly well enough to rub one out all over his back, and when Hawk has 'plans' for him, BJ isn't fool enough to waste his erection.

Trapper wriggles. "Oh God, Hawk," he says, his voice a pitchy croak, and BJ finds himself running his hands up and down Trapper's arms, soothing and gentle, for no better reason than he can't seem to stop himself. Trapper relaxes into the touch, his head falling back against BJ's chest, and BJ holds him, even though none of this makes a lick of sense. At a loss what else to do, BJ watches Hawk love on Trapper and tries to concentrate on that. At least it's something that does make sense, kinda, even if BJ's reactions to it, to _this_ , are fucking confusing.

"Ah, ah, ah." Trapper is boneless and surrendered in BJ's arms, and then he's jerking up into Hawk's mouth as he comes, shuddering in BJ's embrace, and it feels more intimate even than having Trapper in his mouth. BJ's never seen Trapper this vulnerable, never knew he was even capable of it.

He feels the exact moment when Trap remembers it's BJ's arms around him, BJ's cock pressing into the small of his back, BJ Hunnicutt who just saw him fall apart. He stiffens, then shakes BJ off with a muffled curse, standing suddenly and tugging the skivvies that never quite made it off his body back up to cover himself. He stomps away without looking at either of them, leaving Hawk kneeling on the floor and the pair of them staring at each other for a second. Hawk is startled, then resigned, although he can't entirely cover up the hurt. BJ wants to flatten Trapper, except he knows Hawk wouldn't want that; it would only upset him more.

Instead, BJ tugs Hawk up into his lap and kisses him tenderly. It takes him a minute to realise the semi-familiar taste in Hawk's mouth is Trapper, and desire flares up hotter in his treacherous body.

When they turn to the bed, Trapper is curled up on the far edge, facing the wall, as if not being able to see them will make him invisible. It prompts both anger and reluctant empathy, and BJ doesn't want to deal with any of it, so instead he pulls Hawk close and kisses him and lays him back on the bedclothes, beautiful and debauched.

He runs the back of his hand down the centre of Hawk's chest. "You should always be naked," he says. "You're fucking gorgeous."

Hawk actually goes red; compliments like this are one of the few things that make him self-conscious, and it's totally adorable. "Oh, just get down here and kiss me," he says, though he can't hide his delighted smile.

They kiss again, kisses filled with laughter and teasing, and for a while BJ ignores where they are and that they have a reluctant (possibly resentful) audience. Then there's a kind of thud, like someone deliberately jolted the bed, and when BJ glances over, concerned, Trapper is exactly where he was before, but BJ's suddenly terribly aware of him.

"Beej?" Hawk says, putting a hand on BJ's face and gently tugging till their eyes meet.

"Mmhm?"

"Fuck me."

BJ's breath catches. "Yeah," he manages, then kisses Hawk again, deeper and with less restraint, even as he reaches for the supplies they need. It's easy (or at least easi _er_ ) to pretend it's just the two of them as they work in tandem to get Hawk ready. BJ's awareness of Trap is nothing compared to how aware he is of every little thing about Hawk.

Hawk loves being fucked so much; the noises he makes, his reactions, are thoroughly absorbing even when it's just a couple of fingers. When BJ finally enters him, he goes wild, begging and writhing and trying to make BJ take it faster. BJ loves being inside him, loves how Hawk wraps around him and pulls him in harder, loves how Hawk lets himself be loved and held and cared for.

"God, Hawk," he murmurs. "God. You're so beautiful."

Hawk looks up at him, eyelids heavy. "Not nearly as beautiful as you, Beej," he says, then they're kissing, and what BJ loves most of all is that he can lose himself in Hawk, that they can find solace and warmth in each other even in the midst of the hell that is Korea.

 _I love you, Hawk_. It's not that he doesn't want to say it, it wouldn't even be the first time, but it's for Hawk, and BJ isn't willing to share it with Trapper, not yet at least. Hawk knows what's in his heart and he knows what's in Hawk's, and that's all that's important right now.

Hawk bites BJ's lip as he comes, laughs into BJ's mouth, joyous and abandoned, and it strikes BJ that he pities Trapper for how he missed out on this all the times he sent Hawk back to bed still aching and unsatisfied. Then BJ's own release breaks over him, and he can't pay attention to anything outside the two of them and how good it feels to come with this man he loves so much.

They kiss lazily, kisses that are hardly kisses, just gentle smiles against each other's mouths. BJ chuckles, and Hawk chuckles back, and BJ's almost forgotten (again) that anyone else is here till someone outside the two of them lets out a long sigh and draws his attention away from Hawkeye.

Trapper's facing them now, and his expression isn't one BJ's ever seen on him before. Wistful. Tender, even. It makes BJ feel sorry for him at the same time as wishing Trapper weren't here with them to complicate things.

There are far too many emotions to tease apart, so BJ decides not to try. He kisses Hawk again - his forehead and chin and nose and cheeks and lips - then gently disentangles himself. "I gotta go clean up," he murmurs.

Hawk tugs him into another kiss, but nods. "Hurry back." He sounds so damn happy. Maybe it's unfair, but BJ hates to leave him here with Trapper, who's made an art of keeping Hawk miserable. But Trapper has his head propped up on one hand and he's looking at Hawk with that melancholy expression, and maybe it'll be okay. BJ doesn't have a choice, anyway, so he might as well do it now and do it fast. He tears himself away from Hawk and Hawk's mouth, slips into the robe which is the only thing Hawk unpacked, and ventures out into the hallway.

The facilities aren't exactly up to standard, but at least it's late and no one's around. BJ does his best, fast and good like meatball surgery (because he's still worried about leaving the two of them together), and hurries back to their room.

He's not sure what he expects when he returns, but Hawk is turned on his side, facing Trapper, and BJ can see Trapper's face over his shoulder. Trapper has his eyes closed, and his expression is almost anguished as Hawk oh so very gently brushes his fingers through Trapper's curls.

BJ wonders, for the first time, not why Trapper felt the need to teach Hawk he wasn't worth more than a couple of warm holes to fuck, but who apparently taught Trapper something not dissimilar.

Trapper looks up when the door shuts, eyes wide, almost scared, like he's afraid of being caught daring to be soft, letting Hawk be kind and affectionate to him, then his face closes down, all trace of vulnerability gone.

Hawk turns over, face lit up as he smiles at BJ. "Beej. C'mere," he says. "You look good in my robe, but you look better out of it."

Trapper mutters something that sounds like 'Ain't that the truth' with a sour smirk on his face, although BJ's not at all confident he heard right. (Trapper John? Giving him a compliment, even a reluctant one under his breath? It doesn't seem very likely.) BJ ignores him and walks to the bed so Hawk can untie his robe and press a cheek to his belly.

"God, you're pretty, Beej," Hawk murmurs. "Come back to bed, love."

The unexpected endearment makes BJ feel like his heart might explode. He lets Hawk pull him back down and tug the blankets over them, then Hawk's nuzzling him and laughing softly again.

"What?"

"You're fuzzy," Hawk says. "I like it."

BJ chuckles and wraps his arms around Hawk, holding him tight. He's so cosy and warm, he's not even thinking about Trapper, and then he looks up and sees that the vulnerability has reappeared on Trapper's face.

"You okay, McIntyre?"

It's completely the wrong thing to say, of course.

"I'm fine, Hunnicutt, piss off out of my face, pervert." The words are angry, but the tone of voice is something else entirely. Trapper rolls away from them, shoulders hunched, and wraps his blanket tightly around himself.

"Trap?" Hawk asks.

There's no response.

"Trapper, don't be an idiot."

Hawk reaches out and digs into the blanket, finds Trapper's hand and holds on tight (even though he's still buried in BJ's chest), and Trapper's whole body relaxes instantly. It's startling.

"'S okay, Trap," Hawk murmurs. He pulls till Trapper's on his back, and Trapper won't look at them, but he reminds BJ of a scared little boy afraid of being scolded.

Hawk laces their fingers together, and something almost like a smile appears on Trapper's face.

BJ can't pretend to know what's going on in John Xavier McIntyre's head, but Hawk's here safe and beloved in his arms. Maybe Trapper's also here, maybe he's close (too close), and maybe BJ still doesn't like him very much, but if Trap will let BJ love Hawkeye, maybe teaching him to love Hawk (or at least not to hate himself) isn't such a terrible cost after all.

_~ fin ~_


End file.
